What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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