Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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