New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
