i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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