dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
