Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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