so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
