Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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