hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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