I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
