i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
