i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize