best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
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I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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