I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My balls are so social today.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
