all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
