guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
