Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize