Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
