I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize