just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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