I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
