uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
