I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
