We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize