apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
