ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
