Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
