I wish I only lived at night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize