FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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