A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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