The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize