im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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