I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize