pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
