i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize