she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
