She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
