I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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