This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
