I think i sorta joined a cult last night
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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