i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
