Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
