I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
