i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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