I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
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Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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