Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
