Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
