two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
