I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Randomize
