He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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