If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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