No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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