she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
