My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
