when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
