honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
