Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
